2021, Nouvo Rising Sun!

First, let me start by saying WELCOME! Thank you for visiting my page and coming to read a little bit of my thoughts! My name is MarieAnge (MAH-ree-AHN-juh) or now better known as Bondye Zanj. My pronouns are they/them. If you couldn't tell already, my favorite colors are gold, yellow & red (in that order). Gold and yellow are more merged into holding the #1 spot simultaneously, but anyway.

Something I want to start off sharing is a trend I've noticed and something I've talked with my wonderful mom about. The conversations surrounding a new year.

New Years... They're great, right? We're in one right now! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 🎉🎉🎉 It's a time for a fresh start, new goals, bigger and more magnificent possibilities! A new year is a time for reinvention! I love new years! They're my favorite time and yet it's statistically proven that people give up not even halfway through the year. You know the statistic about people making new years resolutions and by the end of March your mind says, "Well... back to Doritos on the couch." Let me tell you... I've been victim to the Dorito couch! We all like to think it's because of our goals. We blame it on "dreaming too big" or asking for too much in a short span of time, but you'd be surprised how much the fault is actually on ourselves. Humans self-sabotage so much, it's almost natural to us.

I want you to really ask yourself, why do you have "bad years"? So, let's break it down. What's the common thread when a year is ending? In most cases, or what seems to be a common thread in the last few years, the year has been rough, you're exhausted, you gave up about 6 months ago and now you're like "20(whatever) is the year, we're starting fresh, throw the whole year away and I hated this and I'll never do that again, this ruined this and that and blah blah..." Take 2020 for example. It turned out to be... whew... We all know how 2020 was. COVID, many monumental deaths, disastrous presidency (DISASTER), summer race riots and so much more. Then again, how is this any different from other years we've experienced? We've had deadly diseases cross this earth, ones we didn't know about before because of course every disease is new and every time we have to learn how to deal with it. The world is constantly changing and with that, the level of disease is constantly changing. Death is a natural part of life. We hate to see it, but it's inevitable. At the beginning of every year, or generally within every year, there's bound to be a monumental death. 2020 had more than we've experienced in a while, but no different than any other year. Racism was at an all time high in 2020, a high rate we haven't seen in some time, but not because it went away. It was only because 2020 became the year white people felt more comfortable expressing their racism outwardly since we had someone in the white house giving them permission to. These are all so things that can overwhelm a person, but that doesn't mean it should. The problem with humans and new years is we've learned to anticipate horrible outcomes. We ready ourselves for danger. "This year sucked, I hope this next year is better. I'll pray on it, I'll claim it. Lord don't let 20(whatever) be like this year!" But as soon as something in the slightest feels like it can shift a balance, let's say death of a celebrity of some such, it becomes, "Throw the whole year away. 20(whatever) will be the year. I'll try again then." You're wishing so much for something bad not to happen, you don't even realize how much you're calling those bad outcomes into your life. You're also placing blame on external subjects, either people or things, instead of taking accountability for your own unhappiness. No one can make you unhappy except you. No one can ruin your life, but you. There is also the thought of resolutions again. We make grand lists of our wildest dreams and give ourselves timelines, but when we begin to feel like we can't attain these goals when we wanted to, we give up. The problem is not the goal. The problem is, again, YOU. Let's also keep in mind that we don't suffer individually, we broadcast it on social media to share in our misery and now it becomes a world trend of tossing away years only to anticipate the downfall of the next. We make memes of humorous destruction to describe an entire year, funny TikTok's and all the woes. I'm not saying we can't laugh about it, but I am saying the way we display it, how we word it, what we think about it is the human problem.

The mind is so so powerful. Anything you say can come into fruition. You think, "2020 is doom and gloom and destruction and it's over. THROW THE WHOLE YEAR AWAY!" Then you know what? Bam! You just manifested your entire 2020 as that. It doesn't matter if you're joking or serious because the universe can't tell the difference between your jokes and what you're serious about. It's not about good and bad, it's about how did this benefit me vs. what can I learn from this? We've been taught so well to identify tragedy that we don't even understand how to enjoy what's in front of us. We worry so much about things outside of us, things we can't control, which causes us to run straight to unhappiness. COVID has ravaged this world and taken many lives, but it has also brought families closer, forced people to find themselves and work harder on loving themselves, forced people to open their eyes to the injustices of this world, taught people to be more innovative in approach for projects and so much more. I see so many benefits from 2020 and I wish the rest of the world could see it. No, I'm not saying it was a great year and not everyone had things to be grateful for, but I am saying that there was much to take from it and any learning experience is a gift in my eyes. BooooooooA we still have a lot to learn as a world, but knowing that is the first step and once you take that first step, you're already shining brighter! It has more to do with your perception than your actions. How you see the world is how you manifest. If all you see is "bad", that's all you'll get. If you focus more on what you want rather than what you don't have, things will get brighter for you. It's also about what you allow to happen. If you know your worth, only gold will grace your presence.

It shouldn't be about anticipation, life should be about taking it one step at a time. We are so in a rush all the time, always feeling like we are racing against a clock, racing against each other, we never give ourselves the grace to actually enjoy life. You didn't reach your goal when you wanted to? OK, push it back. This is your 5th time pushing it back? Push it back again. You can also change your goal. You made a single goal too big? Make it into tinnier goals which will still lead to the same outcome. Why are we afraid of compromise? We also need to be more specific in the things we ask for. Don't beat yourself up for not getting things done in one sitting. It doesn't matter when you get it done, what matters is your want/need to get it done at all. What truly matters is your drive to never give up. You want it bad enough, it will get done. We have to also keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. The universe outlines everything for when you are ready to handle it. Take your time... TAKE YOUR SWEET TIME!!! Time is precious my friends. Don't waste it, savor it. Breathe in it. Taste it. Feel it. Really live in your time. Yes, tomorrow is not promised, but that is exactly why I believe in taking my time. If I'm moving so fast that I can't even experience anything, was I really living? People will spend their whole lives chasing a goal and once they get it, they ask themselves, "Was this what I really wanted?" and a lot of times the answer is no. Tunnel vision will RUIN YOU! Savor every moment. Dance in every single second. I'll be damned if I make it all the way to death and I can't recount enjoying life because I was so focused on what's happening around me, pleasing someone else, fulfilling someone else's dream for me instead of living for myself, living as me. Nothing is unattainable. You have limits because you create limits for yourself. Stop.

You have everything you want. Yes, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT ALREADY. The problem is not getting what you want, the problem is you not believing you can get what you want and you not knowing you deserve everything you desire. Keep in mind also that I'm saying what you "want", not what you need. That is also a common misconception among humans. We are so caught up in looking the best, proving ourselves to others, worrying about revenge and stepping on others to get to the top, which is exactly why we remain unhappy most of the time. If we all took a moment to look at our lives, I believe most of us would realize we have everything we need. Need is not want. Stop mixing the two. You don't need fancy clothes and a billion dollar home to be happy, you want it. You don't need 20 luxury cars and a master closet full of clothes that you wear once then forget about, you want all those things. We all want what we don't have. Ever heard, "The grass is greener on the other side."? Yea yea... I'm a scosche bit of a cliche cornball, but it's so true. We are so ready to jump from the lives we have because we are focused on the lives of others, trying to be exactly like someone else and get where someone else is, we don't even realize most times we didn't want that. We are fed dreams from TV, social media, the news. When you think about what you need, what comes to mind? For me, all I need is love. I love myself and because of that I have everything I need in life. When I allow love to guide me, every part of the world falls in my lap. You may say in the back of your head, "Easier said than done." and right there would be you proving my point. Your thoughts have power. If you think it's hard, it's hard. If you think you have it, know you have it and deserve it, the world is yours. I also don't want you to think that's it's bad to want. It's absolutely wonderful and you can have all of it if you believe in your power to manifest it. I believe in you. What do you really want? Not your parents, not your friends, not Buddha or God, what do YOU want? How do you want to live? What do you need? Really ask yourself these questions and be honest.

I finished watching Soul today on Disney+. Such a beautiful movie. Quite a tear jerker. I'll try not to spoil anything, but what I loved so much about the movie was it's simple way of telling what life is about. It's not some grand complex scheme of finding your life's purpose, although that is definitely within the journey. It's not about material things or trying to win over the world. Life is simply about living. You. Are. Here. To. LIVE! Also, to love.There is so much beauty and magic in this world, so much to be excited about! It's the small things that count the most. The tummy crunching laughs you have with loved ones. The chance to take your first bite of a really great, new food. Reading a new book. Traveling the world! I can't wait to see the world! Learning to drive and watching movies with your best friends, making new friends! Things that don't require money like walking along the water on a sunny day, frolicking in a field of flowers, dancing, hacing deep conversations with loved ones, etc. Yes, we want to find what we love and get everything we want and figure out why we are here, but how can we think to do such a thing without trying to live first? Choose love first. Choose life and with that, everything will be easy-peasy lemon squeazy. Don't lead with fear. Fear is what stops us from living. If we actually took the time to sit with ourselves and truly learn who we are, truly take the time to love ourselves and stop relying on others to give it to us, we'd see what we need and have everything we want. So, lessons for today... Stop broadcasting misery on social media. Don't simply say what you want/need, know that you have it and it's yours. Love yourself because you are so magnificent! You are your own happiness, not anyone or anything else. YOU! Last, but certainly not least, live. Live please. Life is so so amazing! ENJOY IT!

With that, I hope you all are having a fantastic new year so far! Happy Black History Month! Continue to flow with the breeze and let life! Talk to you later beauties! 💃🏾